Carol: The Chronicle of my Follicles

Jan 07—Diagnosed with 70% chance of mets; prescribed the harshest chemo available: 3 FEC/3 T (3 X Fluorouracil, Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide/3 X Taxotere). Was told ALL my hair would disappear. Bought wig as pre-emptive measure

Feb 07—Hair loss from E and C of FEC chemo. This was the last time I had my real hair, eyelashes and eyebrows (and everything else, too!!)

April/May 07—Had 3 doses of Taxotere and anxiously awaited the return of my mane!

June/July 07—25 doses of radiation with a bolus, a thick pad on top of the radiation site to make me “cook” even better. Hair wasn’t sprouting at all; was told that could be due to the effects of radiation. Started taking Arimidex, which also affects hair growth—thinning and male pattern baldness is a common side effect. It has been blamed for my hair condition ever since.

August 07—Waited……

Sept 07—Had a little bit of hair and was tired of my wig—made me feel like I was still sick, so began going “topless”.

Oct 09—Still waiting. My hair has grown in a bit, but is only about one-quarter of the original. I have about half of my eyelashes and one-quarter of my eyebrows. No one was able to tell me why I didn’t have any hair and why it wasn’t growing, so I did more research. Found out about Taxotere side effects and discovered the group “Taxotears”.

The effect enduring baldness has had on me:

1. I don’t recognize myself in photos or when I see my reflection
2. I still look like I’m in treatment
3. I feel “exposed”, when I prefer to look “anonymous”
4. I would prefer to choose who knows my history rather than have it so obvious
5. I have had to resort to another wig, but it makes me feel fake. I feel better, but it’s not the real me either
6. I tried to make the best decisions to heal my body, but something else suffered in the process
7. I manage very well usually, but when I sit down and think about it (like now) it makes me cry.